Do's and Don'ts

There are a lot of things I do not do. I don’t drink. I don’t smoke. You are probably thinking, “Good, your pregnant!” But I mean I never do. I also do not have cable, rarely watch PG-13 or R rated movies, and do not listen to much secular music. I strive to dress modestly. It all sounds good, but what is my heart attitude? Am I doing it to be praised by men? Or am I doing it because God has convicted me that it is His will for my life.

If we are honest, we will have to admit that God leaves some of these choices up to us. Wouldn’t it be easy if the Lord wrote down exactly what was modest and immodest? No more quandaries about bathing suits! So many things that Christians argue about are simply not clear in the Bible. We can glean principles and do our best, but some things He leaves to our conscience.

For instance, my husband and I do not have cable. This is a conscience issue for me because I know I am weak when it comes to TV. I know I would often be in the family room watching the Food Network instead of tending to my household. I also feel desensitized to the world after I watch tv for a while. Does that make me better than any of you with cable? Absolutely not! For some of you, you might not be drawn away from your family at all by the call of television. But for me, I know the Lord’s will is for us to keep it to an occasional movie from Netflix.

Then there is music. I love music! But I restrict myself to mostly praise music and some classical. Do I think that all other music is sinful? NO! Some of my favorite memories of my husband and I getting to know each other involve a convertible with the top down and two crazy kids singing along to oldies. But as an emotional woman, the last thing I need during a stressful day is an angsty teenager belting out her anger and frustration in my ear. Music affects me emotionally and I am aware of that. Hence, I try to stay uplifted and encouraged with my choice of tunes.

I am striving to remember 1 Cor. 10:23 “All things are lawful, but not all things are helpful. All things are lawful, but not all things build up.” Let’s be aware of our own weaknesses as well as the weaknesses of others. And let’s try not to impose our own convictions on others. After all, the focus should be on Jesus, right?

Apple Butter and Hard Work!

This past week I spent a good three days making apple butter. I am sitting here looking at all of the lovely little jars that will be my Christmas presents to our very large, extended family. My plan is to give the apple butter, along with a loaf of freshly baked cinnamon swirl bread. However, as I am due in December, that part of the plan is up to my sweet baby boy and the Lord.

My first foray into the realm of canning was intimidating, but highly rewarding. My mother’s apple tree produced a bumper crop this year and that gave me the idea for frugal Christmas presents. It was so satisfying to watch those mounds of rosy red apples, just picked, turn into jars of yummy goodness.

But as I labored over my project, I fell again into morning sickness mode. This tends to happen when I do not rest and keep up my strength.

I just want to say, thank the Lord for the ability to work! I know that if something happens to my health, God will give me the ability to cope with being bed-ridden or unable to work hard.

Being pregnant has opened my eyes to how the Lord has created me to work hard! The frustration I felt, during the first three months, at not being able to do everything that needed done was incredible. Laying on the sofa, which sounds so good sometimes, was boring, unproductive and just plain terrible. And this from the girl who loves to read and write!

Lets thank the Lord for the labor that He gives us to do each day and for that satisfied feeling of a job well done.

Proverbs 31:31 Give her the fruit of her hands and let her own works praise her in the gates. 

Texas Chili

Guests always rave about this chili! This is an easy meal for company. It can simmer for several hours, while you prepare everything else. The chili is very spicy, so I serve it with sour cream, cheese and/or chopped avocado.

3 pounds beef boneless round steak, cut into ½ inch cubes

3 tablespoons vegetable oil

½ cup chopped parsley

4 cups water

3 tablespoons chopped fresh or 1 tablespoon dried oregano leaves

1 tablespoon paprika

2 teaspoons ground cumin

1 ½ teaspoon salt

Sprinkle crushed red pepper - to taste

¾ teaspoon ground coriander

1 large bay leaf

3 large cloves garlic crushed

1 large onion chopped – about one cup

1 can tomato sauce

Cook and stir half of the beef at a time in oil in Dutch oven or heavy sauce pan over medium heat until light brown. Drain. Stir in parsley, water, seasonings, garlic, onion, and tomato sauce. Heat to boiling and reduce heat. Cover and simmer 1 hour, stirring occasionally. Uncover and simmer, stirring occasionally, until mixture thickens, about 1 ½ hours longer. Remove bay leaf. Enjoy!

Birth Control - My Story

As I was cleaning out the bathroom closet this morning, I found an old container of birth control. My first impulse was to find some matches and burn it to a crisp. Are there any words I could use to say how much I regret ever using birth control?

Before I got married, several people I respected and admired told me that taking birth control was no big deal. “There are the different kinds and you just have to take the right one.” “It makes being a newlywed so much easier, ect.” I believed them and, I am ashamed to say, did not do much research on my own.

I took birth control for approximately six months. But after a while, I began to question using it. I felt more moody and my body was not behaving normally. I also began to have doubts as to the morality of birth control. What was I putting in my body? 

My dear husband was fully supportive of going off birth control. And after much prayer, we decided to see if the Lord had a baby in our near future. I was crushed when several months passed and no little one began to grow inside of me.

I went to every doctor at my OBGYN. All of them said the same thing. They said something I had never heard before.

“It can take up to a year for a woman’s body to bounce back from being on birth control. You’re so young. Don’t worry about it.”

I was horrified. After all, I only took it for six months. Many women are on birth control for years and the first month off, they get pregnant. But not me. My husband and I endured an excruciating wait as we prayed and hoped for a baby. I often thought, “Did I permanently damage my body?”

I saw more doctors. None of them were concerned. They did not understand so young a woman wanting to have a baby so urgently.

 Almost one year later, the Lord said “Yes!” to our prayer. I think I cried for a full hour after seeing that beautiful little pink line. Every day I am struck by the amazing, undeserved, blessing this little one has already been in my life. And he is not even here yet!

Now, I am on a mission. Not a mission against every type of family planning. I know there are so many different situations out there, and I cannot hope to have enough wisdom to judge all of them.

However, I do take every opportunity to warn my friends and families away from birth control in pill form. There are simply too many unknowns. Too little research has been done. Often, the research is skewed, because people want birth control to be harmless. Even Focus on the Family did research on birth control that was inconclusive. The point is, researchers do not know the exact connections between early abortions and birth control. And they do not know the exact effects birth control can have on a woman’s fertility.

So there is my story. I hope it can help someone who is struggling with making this tough decision. Our bodies are temples of the Living God. We need to make doubly sure what we are putting in them is right and honoring to God.

Protecting the Innocent

This morning, I was driving up my mother’s stony, wooded drive, when a fawn and doe dashed across my path. Then, to my great astonishment, the fawn turned, took several steps toward my vehicle, which was humming loudly, and looked at me. Meanwhile, mother doe paced and backed away, trying in vain to draw the little fawn away quickly. It wasn’t until I moved the car forward that the little deer seemed at all concerned and then it just walked away. 

It then struck me, as my precious baby gave me several gentle pokes, that this little deer was so like my little boy would be. My little boy will be curious, innocent and unknowing of the ways of the world. He will want to investigate and discover and he will lack the instinct to recognize danger.

Several days ago, I heard a heart-wrenching story of a family tragedy. It involved young children’s innocence being shattered and sent me into somewhat of a panic. There are so many predators in this world. Sometimes it seems that every news story is filled with wicked people who perpetrate their evil acts on the innocent.

Now, as my belly grows and my little man becomes more real to me, I realize why nothing in this world would send my mother into a panic faster than not knowing where one of her children were in a store. What can a mother do to keep her children completely safe?

I intend to protect my children with everything I have. I will guard them and shelter them. I will give them truth with which to combat evil. I will try to put them in wholesome environments and give them godly influences. I must do my best and… leave the rest to the Lord.

If I truly believe that He loves us and His plan for my child’s life is perfect, then I can rest in that knowledge. Yes, do everything you can, but then leave the unknowns at His feet. I know this will be something I struggle with every day, every week, every year, as I raise our children, but with God’s help I hope to learn to rely fully on His will being done in our little ones’ lives.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6) 

Grandmother's New Job

As a more recent entrant into the world of staying at home, I am finding great joy in little things like keeping up with the laundry, making sure the house is clean and going to the grocery store. My favorite time to grocery shop is on Monday morning. It’s the perfect time to beat the rush and prepare for the week ahead.

 As I peruse the aisles, I am waking up to the fact that there is an enormous amount of grandmothers and kids right along side of me! It seems apparent to me that many women who “would never leave their baby in day care,” are quite willing to pass the responsibility along to Grandma. (I realize there are women who must work outside the home. I am speaking of those who choose to.)

Women have said such things to me as, “I could never stay home all day! I would go crazy!” and in the same breath, “My mother wants to take care of my baby. She loves it.”

To be sure, I love all of my baby’s grandmothers and hope to make each one a big part of our baby’s life. But to ask one of them to run my home for even several days a week seems to be turning motherhood upside down.

Why is it culturally ok for someone to care for the children as long as they are retired or have extra time? Is motherhood really such a second-class job?

 I grew up with a wonderful stay-at-home mother who was an amazing example to me of the joy that can be found in the home. Now, with my little one on the way, it breaks my heart to think of missing out on his little growing up years. How easily women give up those precious moments!

 The question is not “Is the child receiving quality care?” Certainly, grandmothers, with their years of wisdom, are well-equipped to handle the responsibilities. But, instead, the question is “Are we passing along our God-given charges to someone else?” 

Post-Pageant Surgery

An article caught my eye today on Foxnews.com It concerned beauty pageant winners and plastic surgery. I was expecting them to speak about contestants undergoing many surgeries in preparation for a pageant. I never watch pageants myself, but I can only assume, in this day and age, that little viewers see is real.

What shocked and surprised me were the comments that many contestants have surgeries done after they have won a major pageant. The article said,

  "Everyone has an excuse like ‘my uncle died’ or ‘I have family issues’ and go away and get something done even after they win. I don’t get it; if it was good enough to win don’t mess with the formula.”

  I don’t get it either! How can it be that in our culture, beauty standards have become so high that even someone who wins a Miss USA title still feels compelled to go under the knife? How can we reach young women to let them realize that these standards of perfection are not only unrealistic, but unhealthy.

  Every woman struggles with her self-image from time to time. But it helps to put these thoughts in perspective when I hear that even a woman who has earned the praise of the world for her beauty still looks in the mirror and thinks about what needs to change.

  More and more, average women are opting to have cosmetic surgery done. When I see average women who feel that they must alter their natural body, I feel as though Satan has won a huge battle. What insecurities and fears go into such a decision!

  Often it seems as though married women deal with the issue of continued attraction of their husbands. Imagine the desperation as a woman grows older and must continue these surgeries and alterations while her husband’s eyes still wander.

  My husband often tells me I am beautiful. We are still newlyweds (two years and counting!) and in spite of my growing baby bump he misses few opportunities of complimenting me. I know my body has drastically changed in the last few months, but he still seems to think I am beautiful.

  I wish more women could feel the security that lies in a relationship, not based on physical attraction, but a meeting of hearts, minds, bodies and souls. There is a precious caring that I experience from my husband that transcends how I look. I know if the Lord allows us to grow old together, our love will count for more than droops and sags. It’s a tragedy that our culture puts so much pressure on women, and offer so many visual enticements for men, that few people experience the rest that can be found in the unconditional love between a man and woman brought together by the Lord.